I’m Saving the Precious Gift of Yawning for Marriage

After reading a comment that talked about bestowing a natural body function with sacredness, then saving it for marriage, I decided that yawning would be a good bodily function to choose to save and share only with my beloved future life partner.

First, like sex, it’s hard to keep from doing sometimes, even when you don’t really think it’s a good idea and there could be severe consequences. Second, also like sex, as any awful porno movie can clearly demonstrate, it can’t really be faked successfully.

Before I took my vow of yawning chastity, I can tell you that some of the consequences of my promiscuous yawning behaviors were devastating. Like that time I was unable to stifle myself during my supervisor’s big motivational speech. I was singled out for public humiliation and burned with shame for weeks afterwards.

I’ve been practicing, though and now, my nostrils only flare slightly in a most ladylike fashion even when I’m confronted by such grave temptations as analyzing cost benefit ratios or reading the collected works of Marcelle Proust.

Now I just need to find someone able to truly appreciate the value of this sacred gift of intimate honesty. . Wish me luck!

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