Hey, I Know! Let’s Make People Do The Same Thing Every Day for 30 Years!

Whose bright idea was this? I’m only asking because I’d like to help them get the credit they deserve. Maybe it made sense at one time, but now that the internet and high-tech scheduling software exists, it doesn’t make sense anymore. You know what else doesn’t make sense? Giving workers exactly the same schedules instead of staggering them, thereby guaranteeing that they will have to spend hours in traffic every day. Would staggering work schedules be that hard?

I don’t know about you, but I’m capable of learning and doing a lot of different things. Life would be a lot richer if we all had five jobs at the same time, and if those five jobs were switched out every couple of years for five others.  This is especially true for people who don’t have fascinating careers that require a high degree of education and specialization, which is most of us. Even for those who do, the degree of specialization has gotten ridiculous. Can you imagine the life of a proctologist? Anuses, nothing but anuses. I tell you, this system just isn’t natural, and I really think it’s retarding our growth, both on a personal and a societal level. With modern technology, it’s no longer even necessary.

Maybe this sounds crazy, but hear me out. A sample schedule might look like this: On Mondays, we could be garbage collectors. They provide a valuable service, but who wants to do it every day forever? Once a week, though, would be bearable. Tuesdays, we could cashier and bag groceries, Wednesdays, maybe work as a veterinary assistant with animals, Thursdays be classroom assistants for teachers, and Fridays do a little filing at the courthouse.

None of these jobs require college degrees—and let’s face it, even most of those that do could actually be learned with on the job training in less that a quarter of the time it takes to earn a degree in school. With today’s modern databases, and the scheduling capabilities of computers, there is no reason why any of us should have to be bored out of our minds doing the same thing over and over day after day.  To make life really interesting, though, we’d have to make higher education free like it is in countries with happier citizens. Just escaping mind-numbing repetition should be sufficient incentive to make it free. Other countries have already done so.

Even those with degrees would have to participate in the job sharing, but there are benefits to that. For example, collecting garbage once a week might keep doctors and lawyers from getting so arrogant. It would also be beneficial for them to share their knowledge with their temporary co-workers. Of course, under my plan, everyone would make the same yearly salary for all of their jobs combined–exactly $75,000 per year. Why? I’m going with the Princeton study that determined that was the amount that made life’s difficulties bearable. It also showed that making over $75,000 didn’t make people happier. Those who wanted to try to prove their superiority over others would have to find a differing measuring tool than money, but I’m sure they’d find something.

$75,000 a year and the chance to do different jobs are also great incentives for people to keep their behavior from disqualifying them from any jobs. For example, driving a school bus would require a clean driving record and performing surgery would require a clean drug test. Being rewarded for good behavior is a lot better than being threatened with incarceration for bad behavior.

What five jobs do wish you could have instead of the same one day after day? 

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